musical conundrums.
Confession: I’m addicted to trashy hip-hop. I always amaze people when I get on a dance floor and I know every word to whichever top 40 song is playing at the time, along with the old fashioned classics. (fact. I still know every single word to ‘oh I think they like me’ and sing along to T-Pain regardless of where I am). After spending a month addicted to my FM radio there are some things that made me wonder…
New Boyz ft Ray J- Tie Me Down: Okay, first I’m ignoring the fact that boys is spelled with a z, but what boggles my mind here is that Ray J is the one singing about not being tied down. Didn’t you just film ANOTHER season of ‘For the Love of Ray J’? Aren’t you looking for someone who is ‘wifey’ material and therefore would be able to tie you down? Oh less talented sibling of Brandy when will you learn? You should have cashed in on the sex tape the way the Kardashian counterpart did, but more on that in another post.
Ke$ha-Tick Tock: again, with the spelling. Apparently the dollar sign is making a political statement since she made no money off of Flo-Rida’s mega hit she was featured on…although in his defense he needs all the money he can to pay Florida back for stealing the state’s name.
I’m kidding. Well, who knows.
Anyway, apparently she wakes up every morning feeling like P.Diddy. I’ve had some epic nights (case in point: last weekend) but I’m not sure I’ve ever woken up feeling like P. Diddy…and since I imagine it to be waking up in a brothel surrounded by stale liquor and fake hair I’m not sure I want to. But I am a big fan of falling asleep feeling like P. Diddy.
Timbaland ft Justin Timberlake-Carry Out: I’m willing to put money on this song being the product of Timbaland and Timberlake getting high and going on a White Castle-esque adventure to McDonalds AND Burger King (they probably like Burger King’s fries better) and making up this song as they drove. Since the two of them can pretty much make any record platinum they probably decided to actually produce the song and put it on the air as a giant ‘fuck you’ to anyone who takes it seriously.
Joke’s on you, T^2, I’m onto you.
(side note: the last time musical genius was created this way was when Nene and Kim decided to produce ‘Tardy for the Party’ and we all know how that one turned out.)
Lil Wayne-Bedrock: Oh Lil, Wayne, you never disappoint. I think my favorite line in the entire song is ‘Call me Mr. Flinstone, I can make your bed rock’ meaning that Sammy completely overreacted when Ronnie said she had a Fred Flinstone toe. Clearly it was a compliment, weezy style.
