Oscar Roundup.
I actually hate watching awards shows. Red carpet starts at 5, the actual show starts at 8 and isn’t over till at least 11…and any chance at watching something decent on another channel for the night is completely shot.
But. There are clothes. We all know how I feel about clothes. So here’s the best and the worst of the lot.
Who knew Karen Smith could be so fierce? I usually am opposed to white gowns because they end up looking…bridal…but Amanda Seyfried owned the entire ensemble. Including the simple bangles as accessories. This is the second time I’ve been obsessed with Amanda in Armani Prive (the first was the little blue number she wore at the Dear John premiere.)
style points: 7.
Hilary Swank, I get that you have to prove that you’re a woman after excessively playing (and winning Academy Awards for) quasi-men, but was this Blake Lively esque dress really necessary? At first when I saw how low-cut and skin tight it was I pegged it for Versace, easily, but when it turned out to be Armani Prive a little bit of me died inside. Side note: Hilary skipped the actual awards show and made an appearance at the Vanity Fair party. Seriously, Swank?
style points: -5
Despite the fact that I have no idea why Nicole Richie was at the Oscars her Reem Acra boho-chic floor length blindingly sparkly dress was amazing. Her 60s-esque get-up complimented her (finally nourished) shape and showed just the right amount of skin with the low-cut back.
style points: 9
I expected more from Givenchy. I’m not sure if I expected more from Zoe Saldana (she was in Crossroads, remember?) The top half of the dress is amazing, the detail on the bodice is flawless. And then it all kind of falls apart. The bottom looks like tye dye pom-poms mixed with those plastic lei’s they used to give you at school on ‘Hawaii day’. From what I can see the shoes look kind of cute though, minus the fact that they’re a little matchy-matchy with the purple.
style points: -13
It breaks my heart to say it but Kristen Stewart looked amazing. Her custom-made midnight blue Monique Lhuillier dress actually made her look like an adult. The fact that her hair wasn’t stringy and in her face and she didn’t try and throw a leather jacket on top helped as well.
style points: 9
I think it breaks my heart even more to hate this look. 1. Because its Chanel Haute Couture. 2. Because its SJP, my lady love. The dress blends in with her alarmingly tan skin-tone and does nothing to show off the rockin’ Carrie Bradshaw bod that she saved by having her latest set of twins developed by a surrogate. SJP, please call Patricia Field immediately. Apparently she’s the only one who can style you to a T.
style points: -8.5
Seriously, Mariah Carey? You are not going to church so please save your matronly blue Valentino jersey dress for a far less formal affair. Her Louboutins look like they’re eating her feet and the accessories are overkill…it’s like she forgot that Glitter was a train wreck that does not need to be revisited. I’m not even going to say a word about her yo-yo weight or even make a Nick Cannon reference because she already fails at life too much.
style points: - infinity.
GO HOME ROBIN THICKE. NOBODY INVITED YOU BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHO YOU ARE.
