There’s something inherently wrong with that video.
I’ve been anti Jonai since the second Disney channel tried to force them onto me during Suite Life commercials (none of this On Deck business. I’m talking OG Suite Life.) Anyway. I was just subject to the Jonas Brothers Concert Experience on DVD and saying I feel violated would be an understatement. It’s true that I’ve occasionally watched the Jonas tv show (since they live in a firehouse and nothing is more legit than that) but this ‘concert experience’ was just another level of ridiculous. I think the only way I can do this any justice is to break it down by brother.
So.
Kevin: I feel incredibly sorry for you. You’re clearly the ugly stepsister of the group and they don’t even bother to give you a fake mic so you can at least live vicariously through your brothers. All you do is play guitar meaning you’re replaceable and completely irrelevant. Yes, you are the one with the most charisma since you’re the only one who actually tries to interact with the fans, but that’s only because you don’t have to fear for your life (and clothes) every time you venture into a crowd of pre-teen girls.
Joe: I want to know how you have such an impressive collection of Neon t-shirts. I also want to know why you think playing the tamborine is sexy, it’s not. You are not a gypsy, please refrain from acting like one. And I’m dying to know what kind of straightener you use because somehow your hair stays so damn straight no matter how much you dance and flip on stage. I have to give you props for convincing your brothers to sing with all of your ex girlfriends (the duet with Taylor was particularly moving in a fake romance kind of way); I bet Nick never even bothered to ask for a song featuring Miley.
Which brings me to…
Nick: Clearly the talent behind the operation. You can sing, do acrobatics, play every instrument they throw at you AND you have diabetes for heartstring points. Plus you’re under 17 and therefore the only member of the band that any of the fans can legally crush on. Apparently he’s just gone solo with The Administration. What he administers, I’ll never know, but he should have done it years ago.
Apparently the talent filters down through this gene pool meaning little Bonus Jonas is truly the star of the family. Let’s see what he comes up with.
