Apparently all my dreams just came true.
There’s been a running joke amongst me and my friends that we need to be on reality TV. Between labeling our adventures “the night there was a threesome in the back of Cyndy’s car”, perpetually getting rained on (the Lil Wayne variation) and coining the term ‘muss bata’ we’re incredibly entertaining people and a lot better than a lot of the crap on TV (namely ‘Pretty Wild’ but we’re not gonna go there.) In all seriousness I’ve actually made a list of pros and cons about whether or not trying to get cast is a good life choice. Feel free to add if I missed any…
Pros:
-Reality TV Fame. aka the best kind ever. We all know I’ve been dreaming of MTV stardom and seeing as even the most pop culture averse people are well aware of who Snooki is (and she can demand $5,000 for every appearance) this can only work out well for me.
-I’d get to be the bitch who causes trouble. Because we all know that’s true.
-I’d get to make up a completely fake persona and lie to strangers constantly, which I already do on a weekly basis. Because we also know that’s true.
-What I’ll refer to as my ‘glory days’ in years to come will not only be documented but patented and mass produced. Can’t you imagine showing your grandchildren EXACTLY what you did when you were in your 20s?
-I could probably swing an invite to the Grammy’s. If ‘The Situation’ was there in his insanely low cut shirt why can’t i?
-I might be able to pawn this off as a ‘social experiment’ and make it sound a lot more legit than it is.
Cons:
-I would probably get disowned by everyone I know.
-I’d have to hang out with Persians. And live with them. And not kill somebody. I think killing somebody gets you kicked off the show. I also don’t think I could tolerate that much Hugo Boss cologne and men who wear more bling than I do.
-I’d be painfully aware of everything I did in said ‘glory days’ and even if I did my best to hide the footage from my grandchildren they’d find it on the internet.
-The entire world would refer to me as the bitch who caused trouble, which can’t do anything good for my life. I think the only person who’s managed to make an MTV gig work out for her was Lauren Conrad and statistically I’d go the route of all of the others.
-I’d probably have to see Heidi Montag in person. Back to the aforementioned killing someone comment.
-I’d never be able to pretend to be Karissa Kardashian again. That’s always worked out well for me.
-UCLA will probably retroactively revoke my degree. Although since they’re casting Persians they might as well go to the mothership and hand-pick the sketchiest people they can.
Hrm. Toss up. Thoughts?
